Say What?

Know a new or returning student? Copywriter Nina Mozes offers tips for how to congratulate that special someone who’s entering that bright world of homework, tests and gym class.

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Having an end-of-summer bummer?

Chin up, the kids are going back to school! Time to CELEBRATE. And just pretend like you’re excited for their new milestone in education.

So. How do you say: I know you’re dreading going back to school, but I’ve been looking forward to this for months?

Here are a few ideas:

I know you needed school supplies, so surprise! Christmas is in September this year.

I signed you up for after-school activities. That way you never have to come home! It’s going to be a great year.

If you get suspended, mommy’s gonna have to quit her day drinking and that will make her very upset.

You’re gonna do great! Just don’t screw it up.

It’s a great year to make friends. And if you don’t – no worries, kids your age suck anyways.

Drive the point home with the wisdom of intellectuals:

Mark Twain: “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
Sure, but considering that Twain couldn’t hold onto his finances, I’m sure he regrets not taking an accounting class.

Oscar Wilde: “Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”
That is so true – what’s that? You don’t know who Oscar Wilde is? Get on that bus.

And for the serious students:

Ronald Reagan: “But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.”
You work hard enough, you do enough things right, you’ll get to pretend like your mistakes never happened. Shoot for the stars, kid.

Send them off ready to carpe diem. …That means seize the day. Jeez, doesn’t anyone take Latin anymore?

Want to send them off with more than just kind words? Check out these great gifts for students.

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